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But here are the elements most conservative communities have in common: My grandmother grew up in a marginally Christian community.People went to church on Sunday, but that was the extent of their religious activity.

“How can you tell who you want to marry if you aren’t going out on dates? I ignored their advice on relationships, preferring to listen to the young people around me who were passionate advocates of courtship.

I am not convinced that anyone is ever truly ready to get married.

Readiness can become a carrot on a stick, an ideal that can never be achieved.

So I humbled myself and took my grandmother out for dinner to hear why she thought courtship was a bad idea all those years ago.

She had predicted the failure of courtship back in the 90s and I wanted to understand how and why. After 20 years there still is no general consensus as to what courtship is.

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